Feeling: tired but optimistic
Watching: Seinfeld (s4e10 "the bet")
Playing: replaying animal crossing and playing BOTW still, taking it chill tho
Listening to: n/a
Reading: Three Body Problem (not actively)
Working on: This website, anniversary gift for my girlfriend
It's funny to write an update after how optimistic I was for the new year. 
It's also hard to pinpoint where it started, but I guess part of what made it so difficult from the beginning was beginning to fail my February exams.
for context, I had failed a few classes in december and had to take them again in february in order to be able to get my highschool degree... yeah, a lot of pressure
I was doing well in the other two classes, but Chemistry was and still is the fucking bane of my existence. I had studied all summer and I still only got a 2, and in a way I realized it wasn't fully my fault. The teacher was extremely strict and allowed basically no mistakes, considering I was aiming for a 6 at most it definitely wasn't what she wanted.
Completley INFURIATING to be asked for so much at that point in the year, especially considering she knew it would cause me to not be able to get into college. 
I studied so much, and in the end I couldn't take the last two exams because by that point it was all lost anyway.
my parents didn't take it well... I think they're still pretty angry with me but by this point it's going away... thank god. I can't deal with people angry at me
But it's okay! I didn't really drop out. I had a backup plan, which is a government program designed for people who struggle to finish highschool. It's not ideal but with this it's actually POSSIBLE to get my degree instead of attempting to pass an unpassable class.
While I was getting ready for that. Well. Something else happened.
I woke up at 3am one night with the worst ovarian pain I've ever had in my life. I knew it wasn't my period because that was two weeks away, I'm the kind of weirdo who tracks it down to the day, but it was so intense I genuinely couldn't sleep. I woke up my mom and we rushed to the ER and the following five hours were spent in the hospital doing tests on me until a doctor told me I had a tumor in my ovary.
...No, I'm kidding. But can you imagine?
The doctor DID tell me I had a tumor, but she just worded it wrong 
she meant I had a cyst in my ovary and that's what caused the pain. They had me admitted into a temporal room in order to make sure if they had to do emergency surgery on me or not, and it turned out no! I left to go home, and my surgery was scheduled for thursday the next week.
In the meantime, I decided to get the papers at my school necessary to sign up for the government program. Remember that? I went to the school with my parents, and asked for the papers.
They told me my school was not allowed in the program anymore.
Huh? 
Yeah, well, my school started a reform this year as soon as I left, which would render us non-qualifiable for programs that allowed us to take classes outside of the school, just because it'd make the reform look bad if students were choosing to pass their classes elsewhere.
But that was ridiculous, I thought, I'm not technically a student in the reform, I only have classes pending, I'm technically graduated! 
Obviously my parents were furious. And I was trying to figure out what the hell to even do now that my plans were going wrong, and I had surgery coming up so I couldn't stress or move around too much.
That was the situation for a few days. On the third day of feeling like my year was doomed, I got an email from my school... saying it was just a mistake. They misread the orders from the government. That decision only applies to students of 2025, and I graduated 2024.
Oh my fucking god.
Well that was crazy relief! One problem done, one more to go. All that was due was the surgery. Not much to say on that front, it went well though I was nervous out of my mind. As of writing this I'm home and pretty much fully recovered, all that's left is getting my stitches removed soon.
That's a crazy year right? It's only March, but things are getting better. These three months felt like an entire year. The government course starts this saturday, and I'm looking into getting a job. My family said they'd help with that, since I don't have a highschool degree right now it's a lot harder, but my grandma said she might be able to help me get a job at a bookstore she's involved with. Isn't that cool?
I'm optimistic!
finally. it feels nice to be able to be optimistic again.